Why can't we all just get along? Picture from The Twisted Network website.
Why can’t we all just get along? Picture from The Twisted Network website.

A long time ago I made a thread just for funsies, Who would win in a fight; the TF2 team or the TFC (Team Fortress Classic) team? After fifteen pages and several necros, the consensus appears to be: probably TFC, but both teams have a lot of pros and cons on their side of the table.

So, without further ado, I’m going to look at each of the nine classes from TFC and TF2 and compare which outclasses his counterpart. There are obviously a myriad of other factors like grenades, random crits, unlocks, and bunnyhopping that would have to be factored into this question, and most are covered in the thread I linked to. I encourage you to read it.

The first class: Scout. This one is close, but I’ve got to give it to the TF2 Scout. While the scout’s job is to run fast, and TFC scout is the faster of the two, he can really do very little else. TF2 Scout can dish out the burst damage, which gives him a job in combat that TFC Scout just can’t cover. TFC Scout has a few more mobility tools like the concussion grenade and bunnyhopping, but all of his weapons deal pitiful damage and if he were to fight TF2 Scout 1v1, he’d learn the hard way that TF2 Scout has evolved into one of the best deathmatching classes in either game.

The second class: Sniper. Yes, this is written in the class order TFC uses. Thought that might be a cool thing for someone to learn. Anyway, the TFC Sniper is without a contest more powerful than Mr. Mundy. Other than melee damage, there isn’t a darn thing TF2 Sniper can’t do that TFC Sniper can’t do faster, better, and stronger. His Sniper Rifle is legendarily powerful, his secondary is an assault rifle, and he gets hand grenades.

The third class: Soldier. As I said in the review, these two classes are very balanced with each other, which makes TFC more powerful by default since it has grenades and TF2 doesn’t. In a deathmatch, it would likely be a complete tossup as to who killed the other, unless the duel lasted long enough for TFC Soldier to prime a grenade. Unlocks blur the picture, though, because banners are game-changing, the Escape Plan/Disciplinary Action really round out Soldier’s weaknesses. Ultimately, those grenades would be so darn nice to get on Soldier I’m giving it to TFC Soldier.

The fourth class: Demoman. Now this is a hard one. Tavish has two incredibly powerful primaries and a better melee than Greg, but Greg boasts an impressive display of different grenades including MIRVs, detpacks, and a shotgun. Now this is a tough one because Tavish is easier to play for a number of reasons. Valve drastically improved both the Grenade Launcher and Sticky Launcher in TF2. Pipes are intuitive and powerful, and Stickies are versatile, chargeable, and easy to aim. In addition, Tavish can upgrade his melee to gain permanent stat boosts on kill, regenerative properties, and even another grenade. Finally, the demoknight completely changes his class role and has proven incredibly powerful against stock demoman. Greg wouldn’t be immune to this. But ultimately the staggering amount of explosives at his disposal (by my count, 19, not counting MIRV bomblets, without having to reload) makes the TFC Demoman a one-man spamathon that can’t be beat.

The fifth class: Medic. Now, this one’s contestable because the two play completely differently, but only TF2 Medic is considered an invaluable class on any team, any game mode, offense or defense. As powerful and versatile as TFC Medic is, he’s something of a jack-of-all-trades where most of his abilities can be done better by another class. But nobody can compete with the insane healing abilities of the TF2 Medic, whose mediguns (and crossbow) can rapidly heal an entire team to full. And that’s not even factoring in game-changing Ubercharges!

The sixth class: Heavy. Now, this is the main time that hp counts comes into the picture: TF2 Heavy has enough health to survive two grenades without assistance, which is a durability unheard of in TFC. He also has the Sandvich, a powerful team and self-healing tool that outclasses any shotgun in either game. This gets a similar problem to the soldier, where you have to balance versatility versus damage output due to those lethal TFC grenades. Ultimately, though, I’d say the GRU’s free mobility boost pushes TF2 Heavy into the lead.

The seventh class: Pyro. No contest, TF2 Pyro completely stomps the pitiful TFC Pyro. His opponent’s afterburn deals 8 points of damage in total, can’t airblast, and boasts nothing special except hand grenades. Which don’t fly nearly fast or frequently enough for airblast to worry about.

The eighth class: Spy. Definitely the TFC Spy. He’s got a super shotgun, hand grenades, and a Dead Ringer that doesn’t require damage to toggle. TF2 Spy has some nice gimmicks to bring to the table, but I’d give up invisibility and the sapper to throw grenades that don’t drop your surprise. Take that sentries!

The ninth class: Engineer. As I said in the article I wrote on Dell’s father (possibly), TF2 Engineer is almost a complete upgrade to his TFC counterpart. With Wrangler, Rescue Ranger, Hauling, Gunslinger, and Short Circuit, Valve has buffed Engineer through the roof. The only things lost, dettable Dispensers and EMP grenades, are both insanely nice but in the end I’d rather have a Rescue Wrangler.

The tenth class: Civilian. If I could, I’d totally spawn a civilian and a payload bomb into that boxing ring on trade maps. The civilian would tentatively whack the cart with his umbrella and then it’d detonate spectacularly.

Can't beat those bombs.
Can’t beat those bombs.

When I went into this article, I expected it to be an easy win for TFC, but I slowly realized as I broke it down that the sheer versatility of TF2 unlocks provides a pretty powerful counter to TFC’s primary advantage. Not to mention that the TF2 classes won most of my categories when I broke them down like this. Some of them were damn close, especially Heavy, so it’s not an easy question to ask, but ultimately it wouldn’t be a curbstomp on either side. I really want a TFC vs. TF2 game mode now, that’d be awesome.