Look, I’m a busy man and you’ve probably got things to do, so today, in our standard amount of 500 words, we’re covering the only five melee weapons worth using in Payday 2. Actually, now I mention it, it’s a total of ten weapons. Because I don’t know if you own the Ultimate Edition or not, and some of these aren’t available without it.

Anyway, without further ado:

1. Weapon Butt

The first melee weapon you get in the game, the weapon butt, has the fastest swing speed and the fastest recovery time, which is great for heists where you have to break a bunch of glass. Smashy smashy!

2. Ice Pick

The ice pick has the overall best stats of the 30 concealment melees. If you don’t have the Ultimate Edition, use the Nova Shank instead for its blisteringly fast swing speed. Not quite as much damage, but it still has 30 concealment and it swings super fast.

3. Katana

The katana is the best melee if you don’t care about concealment but want the most damage per swing speed. If you don’t have the Ultimate Edition, use El Verdugo, the Sangres knife – the only free melee with 70 damage. Sadly it’s just one off that nice 30 concealment.

4. Buzzer

The buzzer is the best utility melee because it stuns cops, making it real easy to take them hostage. Doubly great if you need to trade a hostage because your team mates suck, or are using a joker build or something. If you don’t have the Ultimate Edition, the electric brass knuckles are almost identical but has a slightly slower initial swing speed.

5. Kunai

The kunai knife is the best stealth knife because it deals poison damage over time, which means you can stab one guard then kill another guard. By the time the other guard has died of poison damage, you have more time to deal with the first one and you can answer both of their pagers. That’s great for stealth missions and avoiding suspicion. If you don’t have the Ultimate Edition, the Syringe is a free alternative that charges up faster but deals slightly less poison damage.

6. Wing Butterfly Knife

And finally bonus number 6, the wing butterfly knife is not a good melee weapon and I don’t recommend using it, unless it’s a really boring heist where you have to stand next to a drill for 10 minutes and you want to entertain yourself with sick knife flips. Because that’s all it’s really good for, despite looking cool. Alternately, maybe consider the flashlight which is also a terrible melee. But in a dark heist, it can let you see something without having to equip flashlights onto your low-concealment weapons. I suppose that’s handy?

Oh. Turns out we ended up recommending 12 melee weapons. Or rather, 5 great weapons and 5 good alternatives. The last two are just bonus ones, and you probably shouldn’t use them at all. Check back soon for our article on free weapons you should try!

Thank you for reading, as always have a great day and keep those helmets flying!